It was a warm springtime, Tally was seating under the tree, full of concerns. The moment she got up, she saw Shay walking towards her. Shay asked “ Hi there, how are you doing?”

Tally replied, “I’m fine, thanks.” After about 5 seconds of silence, Shay opened her mouth.

“You aren’t a pretty yet?” Shay said.

And Tally talked back, “ I’m not 16 yet”

Tally and Shay both gave each other a cold glance. And Shay talked again, “I wonder how it would feel to live ugly, I can’t imagine.”

“It is better than you expect it to be” Tally said suppressing her anger, “ Someday, you were ugly.” Shay walked away and gave Tally a sharp glance, as if she was watching a poor dog.

EVAluation
12/6/2012 04:04:07 am

Great job Sol! However. watch for run-on setences and fragments. I think there's supposed to be a comma after "Tally said" in the last parargraph.

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